Getting your child to do things you want them to can be an ongoing challenge…and getting them to stop bad habits, well that ranks up there with solving the world hunger problem.
Here are some tips that might help.
Although rewards can and often do work, they are short lived. Kids find ways to work around them or stop the behavior when the rewards stop. Adults won’t go to work if they don’t get paid. Teaching your child to beware of their feelings and how accomplishing something makes them feel will have a long lasting effect. For example, your child learns how to ride a bike, they are so proud they want to ride all the time.
HAVING MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS
Kids are much smarter than adults give them credit for. When you have meaningful conversations with them, communication is much better and there is a mutual respect built. Instead of telling your child, “You must clean your room,” trying explaining why it is important or the benefits like you will have much more room to play. Also, teaching them ways to keep it clean on a regular basis lets them know you want to help and make their lives better.
EMBRACE THEIR IMPERFECTIONS
Typically, most kids like to help with chores or projects, however parents get incredibly because things aren’t done to their standard, kids don’t want to help. These critiques often affect their confidence and willingness to volunteer or speak up inside and outside the home. Telling them they are doing a great job and ask if you can show them some tricks to do even better will be most likely have a better response.
It is important to recognize the little things your child does right. Unfortunately, many parents just ignore many of the correct behaviors because that is what your child is supposed to do. If they get up for school without any help, say something, but be careful of using the phrase,” I am proud of you.” Although it seems harmless, your child can think the exact opposite when they don’t something. So what do you say? Phrases like, “You must be proud of your effort” or “Do you feel more grown up knowing you don’t need my help” are great ways to boost their confidence and reinforce proper behavior or good habits.
Although it might seem a little complicated at first phrasing things differently, you will get used to it quickly especially when you see the results.
If you are interested in contacting Brad Fantle for speaking engagements you may reach him by email at firstname.lastname@example.org. He is a 7th Degree Black Belt with Tiger Rock Martial Arts, has 25 years experience working with children and teaching self-defense, an ADHD Coach and has a BA in Sports & Fitness from the University of Alabama