If your kids are striving for A’s in school, they might be going about it all wrong with disappointing results.
Before you read any farther, know this article is not challenging whether A’s lead to your child’s future success. That is separate discussion for another time. However, most students focus on the wrong things when it comes to earning high marks in school only resulting in stress and disappointment.
There is a saying “Focus on the root, not the fruit” that is very fitting for what you are about to read.
Too often athletes, students, and companies spend too much time focusing on the results they want, instead of how they are going to achieve them.
Results are byproducts of what is most important. If you want juicy oranges, you must fertilize the tree’s roots and have quality soil. The quality and quantity of your fruit all comes down to what is happening with the root!
Here are some ideas to help your child perform better in school:
- Remind them why they are at school., to learn, not to receive A’s. A’s are simply outcomes of learning. If you didn’t get an A, maybe there is still more to learn.
- Spend more energy on your weak areas and ask for help. Remind your children the most successful people have the most coaches and get the most help. It doesn’t mean you aren’t smart. Michael Jordan practiced more and had more trainers than most people in the entire NBA.
- Sit down with your child and just listen and ask them questions. Parent brains are quick to offer solutions or assume you know what your child is going to say. Tune out your own thoughts and just listen. Together you both can come up with some ideas to help them learn more and improve.
- Be careful with how you praise your child. Parents often say they are proud of their child when they do well and nothing when they have a hard time. Should you praise the result or praise the effort. Which one will have a lasting long term effect?
- Find out their strengths and see how they can carry over to their weaker areas.
- Don’t plant seeds in their head like “No one in our family was ever good in math, so you weren’t born with the math gene.” These are limiting thoughts and do just that, limit their ability to overcome challenges and obstacles.
Last, look for little wins and celebrate those. “A journey of 1000 miles starts with just one step.” – Lao Tzu. Every improvement is a win. Even if the grade doesn’t improve, but your child is happier and less stressed, that should be considered a win!