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Tallahassee Parents,
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It is not uncommon when you get a group of parents together several will say, ” My kids don’t listen to me.” As parents, we all go through this, however here are a few tips to help make things a little better.
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Your Child may have a good reason (in their mind) to resist doing what you ask them to do.
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Parents often get into battles with our children, focusing on the “what” instead of the “why.” Have a conversation with your child. Spend more time finding out why they are resisting you. For example, maybe you asked them to help you put away laundry and then critiqued how they did it. Kids remember a lot more than you think. Now, they refuse to help because they feel you will not be satisfied with their work so they would rather not even try.
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Wait until things are calm to teach your child.
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It is very difficult to deal with anyone who is emotional, especially a child. When emotions run high they cloud the mind. Wait until things are calm to have conversations about being more helpful, showing respect or why doing your part around the house is important. Your child will respond and learn better most likely improving their willingness to help.
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Let your child see how you deal with your own frustrations.
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Many beliefs and habits are learned from others. If you child consistently sees you get angry, overwhelmed when you are frustration, do not expect them to react any different. Teaching them how to handle several tasks/responsibilities at the same time by your own examples are invaluable teaching tools.
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Don’t take your child’s behavior as disrespect.
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Remember, a child’s frontal lobe is not fully developed until they are 25 years old. When you ask them to do things that take them away playing, you most likely will get some resistance and maybe a little attitude. Don’t take it as disrespect, but immaturity dealing with their emotions. If you get into a battle over how they are talking or treating you; you both get distracted from the task at hand.
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Parents, consistently remind yourself what and who you are dealing with. The more you practice the above techniques, the more your parenting and communication skills will improve.
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If you are interested in contacting Brad Fantle for speaking engagements you may reach him by email at tigerrocktally@gmail.com. He is a 7th Degree Black Belt with Tiger Rock Martial Arts, has 25 years experience working with children and teaching self-defense, an ADHD Coach and has a BA in Sports & Fitness from the University of Alabama
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